Reinforcing your safety: Concrete strategies to protect your physical integrity in a context of intimate partner violence

In situations of strangulation or head injury, seek urgent medical attention.

Strangulation is an extremely dangerous act that compromises breathing (totally or partially) and can block the blood supply to the brain by compressing the jugular arteries. The danger to safety, or even life, can persist for hours or even days after the incident, regardless of how the strangulation was carried out:

• Neck strangulation with hands, hand-to-hand, or a tie, including strangulations occurring as part of sexual activity, whether consensual or not.
• Suffocation by means of an object, pillow, hand or any other object obstructing the mouth or nose.
• Compression of blood vessels on both sides of the neck, even if the person was able to breathe, speak or scream during the incident.
• Being crushed by the abuser's body, making it hard to breathe.

Blows to the head also pose risks in the short-term (concussion) and in the long-term (traumatic brain injury - TBI) whatever their form:

• Direct or indirect blows to the head.
• Repeated small blows to the head.
• Falls caused by physical violence.
• Being shaken.

In view of the risks involved, we strongly recommend to seek medical advice as soon as possible in all cases of strangulation or injuries to the head.

In Case Of Sexual Assault, Consult a Designated Sexual Assault Center.

Sexual assaults are still very common in the context of intimate partner violence and can have major physical and psychological repercussions. Specialized services are available 24/7 to victims of sexual assault, and can provide immediate care for the physical and psychological injuries, and can help to gather the evidence needed to press charges eventually. Ideally, visit a Designated Sexual Assault Centre as soon as possible after an assault, without changing clothing or taking a shower.

To be directed to the Designated Sexual Assault Centre in your area, call the Sexual Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1 888 933-9007.

Knowing the Emergency Features of your Cellphone or Smartwatch

Cell phones offer various options for quickly calling 911, such as an easily accessible key combination or a direct shortcut on the main screen. Some devices or apps also allow you to set up a safety feature to automatically send your geolocation via text message to trusted contacts, such as family members or friends, whom you have previously saved. Here are the links to learn how to do this on Apple, Android, or Google Pixel.

Reporting Criminal Offenses

Many acts of intimate partner violence also constitute criminal offenses for which one can choose to press charges. When a complaint is filed, the abuser is subject to various court orders (such as not contacting the victim) while awaiting trial, which continue if the person is found guilty, potentially enhancing the victim's safety. Consult our article 13 questions about the criminal justice system for more information on this topic.

Requesting a Peace Bond (commonly called a "810")

A "810" can be ordered when someone fears another person, even if no crime has been committed yet, or if the person has not been found guilty of the crimes they may have committed. This order is issued by a judge when they are convinced that the victim fears the abuser will harm them or their family, destroy their property, or share an intimate image. To request a peace bond, you must contact the police services.

Reporting Breaches of Conditions

Whether it's before appearing in criminal court, when a peace bond ("810") is in place, or after conditional release, abusers may be subject to conditions such as not contacting their victim or not being present in certain locations. These conditions are put in place to protect the victim from further harm. A breach of these conditions results in consequences for the abuser, who will have to answer for this new charge in court. For these measures to be effective, violations of conditions must be reported to the police consistently.

Protecting Oneself From Firearm-Related Risks

If an abuser owns a firearm or has the intent (or threatens) to acquire one, you can contact the Bureau of Firearms and Explosives Control. This service allows you to express your concerns or report the intimate partner violence situation to prevent the abuser from obtaining a permit to acquire a weapon. It is not necessary for there to have been a criminal complaint in order to make a report. You can contact the Bureau at 1 800 731-4000.

Reporting criminal offenses committed by an abuser in a context other than intimate partner violence anonymously

In certain situations, and for various valid reasons, it may be too difficult or dangerous for victims of intimate partner violence to report the violence they are experiencing to the police, especially if their partner is involved in criminal activities outside of the relationship. In such cases, it is possible to report the criminal activities their partner may have engaged in, to encourage police intervention and potentially have the partner arrested for reasons other than intimate partner violence. To do so anonymously, you can contact Crime Stoppers at 1-800-711-1800 or make an online report.

Safety Planning with Children

Children are at the heart of situations of intimate partner violence. They are co-victims and can be deeply affected by the situation. While we do not want to hold children responsible for the safety of the victim and depending on their vulnerability and needs, various strategies can be implemented to promote their safety:

• Teach children how to dial 911 and encourage them to do so in any emergency situation.
• Ensure that children know the home address, so they can inform emergency services if needed. If separated, prepare a reminder with all the necessary information to contact emergency services.
• Foster a positive view of police services, so that children feel comfortable reaching out to them for help.
• Explain to children what to do in the event of violence, where to hide, which neighbour to seek refuge with, how and who to call for help, etc.
• Set up easy access to trusted contacts on the children’s electronic devices so they can ask for help if needed.
• Prepare an evacuation plan for the home with the children, to be implemented in case of emergency.
• Tell children that during an event of violence, their only responsibility is to keep themselves as safe as possible, not to intervene. Emphasize that you do not want them to step between you and the abuser.

Safety Planning with Friend, Family and Colleagues

Family, friends and colleagues can also be involved to help enhance safety. One can:

• Agree on codes with loved ones to request that they alert emergency services or ask for their help.
• Plan regular check-ins and agree on what should be done if there is no response at the agreed-upon time: Show up at the home? Call the police? Contact another loved one?
• Ask your workplace for breaks to safely communicate with support resources.
• Develop a procedure with your workplace to confirm your safety in the event of an unplanned absence.
• Share a document with loved ones that explains the violence you are experiencing, so they can more easily request help in an emergency, explaining under what circumstances and how to use it. Include the abuser’s identity and information about their vehicle and license plate.
• Provide loved ones with information about the support services you are receiving, such as from a domestic violence resource, so they can refer to your caseworker if needed.
• Leave an emergency bag with loved ones or at work, in case you need to leave in a hurry.
• Be accompanied by loved ones when having contact with a violent ex-partner, during custody exchanges, when going to court, or during a move, for example (unless it poses a danger to your loved ones).
• Tell your loved ones that during a violent event, it is better to contact 911 rather than intervening between you and the abuser.

Protecting Oneself from Harassment

It can be helpful to implement various strategies to protect oneself from harassment, particularly in the context of post-separation violence.

• Regularly change your habits and routes.
• Carry a personal alarm.
• Speak on the phone with an ally while traveling.
• Avoid wearing headphones to stay alert to your surroundings.
• Ask for the company of a support worker or a loved one when going to a location where the abuser may be (unless it poses a danger to these individuals).
• Prepare what you might say or do to ensure your safety in the event the abuser shows up, remembering that you have the right to pretend, lie, or act as if something is the case if it feels like the best way to stay safe.
• Document the harassment and keep any evidence in case you need to file a criminal complaint later.

Taking a Self-Defense Class

Taking a self-defense class can offer several benefits to a victim of intimate partner violence or post-separation violence:

• Normalize and value the self-defense strategies that have already been implemented and have contributed to their safety up to this point.
• Learn to scream and give oneself permission to do so when this strategy seems useful for self-defense.
• Acquire concrete and simple techniques that, as a last resort, can help break free from physical holds, defend against a physical attack, or disorient an attacker.
• Learn self-defense techniques that help increase self-confidence and the ability to react to situations that threaten one's safety.
• Improve the ability to react strategically rather than reactively.
• Regain a sense of control over one’s own safety and break the feeling of helplessness associated with intimate partner violence.

There are various types of self-defense and martial arts classes, all of which can be useful, but approaches inspired by Wen-Do are often preferred in situations of violence against women. In Quebec, the Montreal Aggression Prevention Center specializes in these types of workshops, which are often reimbursed by the IVAC for victims of criminal acts.