Looking for answers

It's hard to be confronted by doubt about our relationship. Is it normal? Is it violence? SOS violence conjugale gives you access to answers and support.

Interactive questionnaire

Are there violent behaviours in my relationship?

Identify if different forms of intimate partner violence are present in your relationship through this interactive questionnaire.


Interactive scenarios

Is there control in my relationship ?

Are you really free to make decisions that affect you personally or are there signs of control in your relationship ?

Find out

Everything You Need To Know 06

  • Unmasking intimate partner violence

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    • Reading time : 5 min

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  • 8 tactics of psychological violence used by abusers in intimate relationships

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    • Reading time : 8 min

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  • Aggression, remission, tension : the cycle of violence

    • 24 683

    • Reading time : 5 min

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  • From bad to worse: the escalation of violence

    • 21 368

    • Reading time : 5 min

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  • Power and coercive control in situations of intimate partner violence

    • 31 298

    • Reading time : 5 min

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  • #UsToo : 10 forms of sexual violence in intimate partner relationships

    • 28 765

    • Reading time : 5 min

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Frequently asked questions

Of course! When you contact SOS you will have a chance to talk with someone who will help you see more clearly into your situation. You don't have to be certain that what's going is in fact, violence. Regardless of the situation that is causing concern with your partner, SOS is there to help you connect with the resources that can assist and support you in figuring it out.

We are very familiar with the experiences of victims of intimate partner violence and know that the decision to leave or stay with a violent partner is not an easy one. It involves numerous issues, including safety, and it's a decision that can only be made by the person directly involved in the situation. Therefore, we never exert pressure of any kind, whether to leave or to stay in a relationship.

A victim who does not want to leave a violent partner can still obtain assistance and support of various kinds. For instance, even if she does not want to go to a shelter, she can have receive services on an eternal basis and gain access to a safe-space where she can discuss her situation, be understood, rebuild her self-esteem and self-confidence and regain a sense of her own strength. This will improve her quality of life even though she is still living in the violent situation. She can also join a support group, get assistance in her role as a parent, receive material and food assistance, etc.

Therefore, it is completely appropriate for a conjugal violence victim who has decided to stay with her partner to contact SOS violence conjugale for support.

When one examines one's relationship in hindsight, it is often quite easy to identify the subtle violence and manipulation present from the beginning of the relationship. One may then feel shame and guilt for not having "seen the signs" and «realized» the trap, or for not having «reacted» quickly enough. But this is only visible in hindsight.

In reality, it would have been extremely difficult, if not impossible, to identify violence at the beginning of the relationship, since the subtle violent behaviours were skillfully camouflaged through manifestations of love. It is only by knowing what happened next that we can now see more clearly the psychological violence and manipulation at the beginning of the relationship. It is also important to remember that it is normal (and healthy) to have believed in a partner's good faith, to have given them the benefit of the doubt, to have accepted their apology, and to have believed in them and their potential for change. It is the abuser who chooses to use the victim's qualities of openness and trust against her... and thus remains solely responsible for the dynamics of spousal abuse.

We are available to discuss this, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Of course. SOS violence conjugale's services are provided to anyone who is concerned about a situation of domestic violence, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, age, ethnic background, etc.

When you contact SOS violence conjugale, you don't have to commit to taking any action. We know that every situation is different and that many issues are at stake and make decisions very difficult. There is no «one» path when dealing with intimate partner violence. One «solution» can be helpful in one situation and harmful in another. We will be there to offer you our understanding and resources that can accompany you according to your needs and wishes.

It's not violent.. or is it?

An interactive awareness campaign

Explore 5 conversations and learn how to identify the subtle forms of intimate partner violence.

Give it a try!

I am not in Quebec

If your situation takes place outside of Quebec, consult our list of canadian and international resources.

Resources outside Quebec
Contact a worker

Chat Services

By chat, we can offer you some time to discuss your situation, to be able to explore the resources that could be useful to you in the future. On average, we are available for about 30 minutes per exchange.

How it works?