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14 messages to convey to a victim of intimate partner violence
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It’s normal not to know what to say to a victim of intimate partner violence (IPV). It can be hard to know how to respond to their suffering, their ambivalence and their feelings of helplessness, without pressuring them about their choices. Here are 14 simple messages that can make a big difference and help support and encourage a victim of IPV to continue talking about what they are experiencing.
I believe you.
I'm glad you told me.
I’m sure you have good reasons to feel (uneasy, afraid, sad, confused, etc.).
You’re allowed to have a different point of view from your partner.
Regardless of the situation, your partner shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.
It’s normal to have believed in your partner's good will and to have hoped that things would get better.
It’s a complex situation and I can see why it’s hard for you to make sense of it.
Your reactions are normal. What you’re going through is not.
It’s physically and mentally exhausting to live under such intense stress.
You’re allowed to take your time to make the best decision possible to ensure your safety and that of your children.
You are the best judge of your situation and of what you want to do about it.
I won’t do anything without your consent.
There are resources that can help you through all of this.
I trust your judgement. You’re making the best decisions possible in the context.
It was many years before I told anyone about the violence. I was afraid my family and friends would be angry with my boyfriend... and that they might judge me for staying with him. I told my best friend first. She was very kind, understanding and respectful and I was so relieved! Thanks to her I was able to tell my mother. Together, they helped me build my strength and, with their support, I contacted SOS violence conjugale and went to a shelter a few months later. The help and moral support that my friend and my mother provided me made a huge difference for me and my children during the long process of getting to safety
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Bien que la violence conjugale touche majoritairement des femmes, elle peut aussi toucher les hommes et les personnes issues de la diversité sexuelle et de genre. Les services de SOS violence conjugale sont offerts à toutes les personnes touchées par la problématique.