Testimonials 102

I had been in a shelter for 5 days and when I came back my ex had given my little dog away, at least that's what he told me. I later learned from my son, who is now an adult, that this was not the real story. my ex forced my teenaged son to bring my dog in the car and after driving for a while, he ordered son to open the door and abandon my helpless little puppy on the side of the road ? When my son told me the story he was crying with guilt as he apologized . Obviously I reassured him that he had no choice but to obey his father and that he didn't have to live with guilt or regrets that it wasn't his fault.? Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
  • Woman
  • 36 years old
  • Violence by proxy
For years, whenever I talked about breaking up, he threatened to fight me for custody of our kids. I was so afraid that he would be alone with them for long periods of time. He was verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive to them as well. So, I chose to stay as long as I felt my children were too vulnerable... and even then, when I finally left (my children were then 15 and 17), he fought for years for custody, and it cost me a fortune in legal and expert fees. He kept taking me back to court. Eventually, it ended because my youngest turned 18. The «legal» violence after the separation was as difficult to live with, if not more so, than the violent situation itself. That being said... I am glad I did it because I needed to let my kids know to always fight to keep your head up, that is what I did and I am proud.
  • Woman
  • 48 years old
  • Judicial violence, Post-separation violence
I had the courage to leave the day he strangled my dog. I stepped in and told him to leave or I would call the police. Even now my dog is still marked by this person.
  • Woman
  • 46 years old
  • Violence by proxy
While we were together, if I disciplined our child, he would intervene over me to say things like «don't listen to her, she doesn't know what she's talking about». After our separation, he would tell him about our fights and denigrate me to my son. As a result, it was my son himself who told the social worker and other professionals (including a judge) that I was unreliable and that I didn't know how to take care of him...
  • Woman
  • 40 years old
  • Violence by proxy, Post-separation violence
I've never been physically abused... or even verbally abused. Everything was subtle... angry stares... sighs... silences... absences... infidelity... extreme tension as soon as I didn't «submit». It was heavy, so heavy. The children also felt it, I saw them «crushed» in front of their father... it broke my heart. It lasted 28 years. I had 3 «depressions» which I understand today as exhaustion in the face of all the heaviness I carried day after day. I sometimes hoped that he would hit me... at least then I would have been certain that it was violence.
  • Woman
  • 62 years old
  • Psychological violence, Emotional violence
It was winter, in the evening, I went out to put the garbage bags on the side of the street without putting on my coat. When I came back home, the door was locked.. I was really cold. Half an hour later I saw him in the second floor window with my 12-year-old son... he was laughing. I ended up digging in the snow to find the emergency key... I got severe frostbite on both hands. I never left the house again without my keys in my pockets after that. Years later, when he was an adult, my son told me how guilty, he felt for not standing up to his father that night. At 38, he was crying out in rage and fear.
  • Woman
  • 71 years old
  • Indirect physical violence, Consequences of violence
Last year, I spent 3 months in a shelter. I had called SOS from my car one night I was out with the kids because the tension was too high in the house. I just couldn't take it anymore, I was going to crack. At first I was really stressed out, but the shelter workers were so nice. I slept for 3 days... that's when I realized I was exhausted. The more time went by, the more I saw the violence clearly, all the psychological violence I had endured on a daily basis and honestly, I was really surprised... and relieved because I had help. Now I have my home, with my children. It's not always easy because the legal proceedings are still underway, but my counsellor is there if I need to talk, and she accompanies me in my efforts. It helps me move forward.
  • Woman
  • 39 years old
  • Consequences of violence
It was one night in the holiday season. I felt like everyone was happy except me. We were in the car, I was looking out the windows of the houses we were passing by, people happy to be together, families united... and I felt an intense need to get out, to join real life. I felt trapped in my relationship, in my home, in my daily life. At the end of the evening at my sister's house, I found an excuse to stay and sleep with the children. The next day, we called SOS. I spent 2 months in the shelter. My sister was so important during that time, she came with me to the lawyer's office, she looked after my children when I was looking for a place to live, she lent me her car... and so much more. Above all, she was there and I knew she would stay until the end. It's been 4 years now and my life is beautiful. Thank you life!
  • Woman
  • 37 years old
  • Consequences of violence
We were getting ready to go to my office Christmas party. He didn't want to go. We were in the bathroom. He grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me in front of the mirror. He held me there with his hands and his body pressed behind my back and told me to look at myself, that I had put on make-up like a «slut». I told him that I had put on my make-up exactly as usual. I begged him to stop, but he just kept going and going. He whispered in my ear that I was trying to impress someone, that I was «cruising» my colleagues. I was crying, my makeup was running and he was laughing. No matter how many times I told him it wasn't true, he kept going. He didn't hold me hard enough to bruise me, but just enough so that I couldn't leave. I ended up yelling at him and I scratched his hand, trying to get him to let go of me. He let me go and called me «crazy bitch». I didn't want to go to the party anymore, but he insisted on going. I had to redo my makeup because it was all ruined. I put on less makeup than usual after all, I didn't want it to start again. When we got to the party, I was just extremely depressed and stressed and I didn't dare talk to my male colleagues. He, on the contrary, talked to everyone. Later in the evening, a colleague came up to me and told me that he was showing everyone his scratch, and that he was asking them how they found me at the office, because I was aggressive at home...
  • Woman
  • 41 years old
  • Emotional violence, Violence by proxy, Physical violence
Back when we were in the red zone, we weren't allowed to invite people into the house... but since my opinion counts zero in the balance he didn't care... there were 15 of them in the basement at one point and he forced me to stay with them... I was afraid someone had Covid and would cause an outbreak, I was afraid to catch it, there were real risks... and I was afraid we would get caught too... it was extremely stressful.
  • Woman
  • 56 years old
  • Psychological violence, Indirect physical violence
We start making love and he asks me to do something he knows I don't want to do. When I refuse, he quickly gets upset, he shouts, he calls me a "bitch" and accuses me of cheating on him... Later, he puts blankets on the floor for me to sleep on... like a real bitch.
  • Woman
  • 19 years old
  • Psychological violence, Sexual violence
When the lockdown eased and we were finally "orange" and allowed to see our loved ones outside, I suggested that we go see my sister in her backyard. He shot me looks of total contempt... as if I was totally irresponsible for thinking of doing that. We ended up not going.
  • Woman
  • 38 years old
  • Psychological violence, Isolation
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