When buying a little pajama set for your unborn baby becomes a crime... When every limit is forced... exceeded... Physically, sexually, psychologically...Through money, social networks, constantly moving from town to town... It's violence. Today, I am safe with my son. I hope my testimony can make a difference for someone.

I arrived in Canada 4 years ago. My husband took my passport and the children's passports and hid them. He told me that my children had been accepted for immigration, but not me... and since I didn't have the papers, I couldn't go out because I would get arrested. I was very afraid of the police because in my country there are a lot of corruption and violence. In addition, I didn't speak French or English. I stayed for two years in the House, always afraid of being sent back to my country and separated from my children. When I became pregnant, I had difficulties and had to go to the hospital... the nurse quickly understood that I was terrified and found a way to speak to me alone with an interpreter. She saved my life.

He was always looking for the smallest detail to criticize me. For example, once I had cleaned my apartment before he came over. Everything was clean. When he went to throw something out, he saw that there was cat litter in the kitchen garbage can. He didn't appreciate it and exclaimed: If you do that again, I won't come over anymore!

It took us several years to get back on our feet, but now my boys and I are totally liberated and happy. We may have scars literally and figuratively, but we are serene. Peace of mind is priceless. We were very scared for our lives. The police, the Family Court, the legal aid lawyers were able to defend us. It has been a long and trying ordeal because the system is slow and sometimes not quite adapted to the realities of family violence. But your presence, your respect, your calm, your benevolence, your advice and care have propelled us towards freedom, far from violence. You told me to follow my instincts, to believe in myself... Even today, years later, your comforting words still guide me. You are truly, truly guardian angels, superheroes. Thank you on behalf of my two boys and myself. We are really happy today, thanks to the services of SOS and to the shelter. Violence makes no distinction of age, social background, education, cultural background. It is insidious, but not invincible.

At the beginning of the relationship, he was the perfect guy. Respectful, fun to be around and he showered me with compliments. I had never felt so fulfilled. When little cracks appeared in his image, little insults, inappropriate comments... it was okay because I had already «decided» that he was a nice, respectful, understanding guy in my head. Instead of doubting him and his behaviour... I began to doubt myself.

My ex killed my dog to get to me...

He was racist towards me, and in general. He had prejudices based on skin color or ethnic origin. And when I tried to defend myself... or go against his ideas about others, he said that I was "reverse racism" and that everything was owed to me... It made for painful conversations, where I felt defensive, which he used to show me that I was the one who was closed to him, and essentially racist in my turn. I came out of those conversations exhausted and confused.

One night, I was in bed and having trouble sleeping when suddenly he came into the house in a rage. He stared at me, spit in my face and accused me of «judging him». I tried to tell him that our son is sleeping. He went completely crazy, hitting everywhere, on the counter, on the walls and finally he grabbed my arm and pulled me into our bedroom. He told me to pack my bags and leave. He didn't let me take my son to leave. I cried, I was panicking because I couldn't leave without my child. I waited for him to go outside for a cigarette and I walked into the room, took my boy, telling myself that he wouldn't do anything to me as long as I had my son in my arms. My mistake... he pushed us in the entrance and we went down seven ceramic steps. I hugged my son against me and turned on my back to absorb the shock. It hurt really bad and I lost my breath for a long time. I went to my parents' house... and that was the end for me. I left him.

When I called SOS, it was because my sister had seen clearly in my situation... while I was very, very far from seeing what was happening to me. When there is violence, it's like your partner puts a bag over your head... you can't see clearly, it's impossible. My sister was patient, she understood. At first, it seemed completely crazy to me... me?? A victim of violence?? No way !!! It took 7 months, between the moment she told me about her fears and the moment I called. I will always be grateful to her for understanding me... when I didn't understand myself.

I endured insults, reproaches, having to "walk on eggshells" for 2 years in order not to inflame his anger. The lockdown was the worst, he didn't even hide the fact that he visited his mistress every weekend anymore. He said we were taking a break from each other because he needed to think... but that I couldn't leave because immigration papers forbade it, you know...

According to him, those who get the Covid-19 vaccine are "sheep who don't think for themselves." Now I feel uncomfortable doing it...and he doesn't want us to vaccinate our children either. My opinion doesn't matter unless I agree with him....

I'm going to talk to you who are going through this. It was the same for me. I fell in love with a man I thought was perfect, I even married him. It wasn't long before jealousy, manipulation and psychological violence set in. He made me believe that I wasn't good enough, he even managed to turn my relatives, his family, our friends against me... I was physically abused and then sexually abused (yes, rape does exist within a marriage, but no one dares to talk about it). You are not crazy, you know the difference... you feel that it is violence. I know you think you're weak, that you're not worth anything without him, because he's been telling you that all along, but it's not true. I'm not going to lie to you though, the road won't be easy... but hang in there, be strong and above all don't forget that your life is precious and that yes you have the courage you need deep inside you! Yes, many things were broken inside of you but you will discover many new and even more beautiful things that will put a band-aid on what is destroyed ❤.