I want to pay tribute to all the women who work with abused women in shelters. All these women whose identity must be kept secret to protect them. So that they continue to do the colossal work in the shadows to help women who show up at the door of a shelter. All these women, anonymous to the general public, but very present with abused women. They are there as much by conviction as by vocation. They cook for us because we don't have the energy, they prepare rooms for us that mimic the comfort of a real home and they take care of our children because we are overwhelmed by the situation. They listen to us, do not judge us. They understand our pain, support us, encourage us and give us a break for a moment. They make sure that our rights are recognized by the authorities. They help us learn to love again and to make better life choices. They help us to identify violence and especially to get out of it. They help us to reclaim our lives and help us to regain our dignity and to stand on our own feet. For all this, I say thank you. To all these women, I want to pay a sincere and profound tribute.

That moment of grace, of liberation, of serenity felt when one realizes that the violence is over and that this ordeal has made us truly stronger. That moment will come, and it depends only on our determination to say no, to turn our backs, mentally and physically, on the person who dared to abuse us. The decision to leave and the legal, psychological and physical turmoil surrounding the separation sometimes make us doubt. Don't doubt. Push it out of your head and move on. The turmoil will end and peace will come. It's so worth it. A woman at peace, at last.

One evening, as he was yelling at me nonstop, I sought refuge in my bed, as if it were the only place where I could still protect myself. He followed me. Terrified, I curled up under the blankets, a pillow over my head, trying to disappear, to stop hearing, to stop existing. I ignored him, hoping it would end. But his frustration exploded. He grabbed the entire bed and flipped it over. I was thrown to the floor, buried under the furniture, completely vulnerable. In that moment, I felt shattered—physically hurt, deeply humiliated, and wounded in what little dignity I had left.

We were on our way to my parent's house on New Year's Eve. He didn't want to go and made that very clear to us. He drove fast and dangerously, was ranting against my family... the children were crying... 45 minutes of hell. When we got there, it took everything I had to pretend to be happy. The next year, I didn't insist on going...

Girls' night out. I finally talk about my former relationship. I understand - because of the looks of my friends - that what I'm saying is just not normal. It's unhealthy, it's horrible, they have tears in their eyes. I understand the magnitude of what I have been through. I start to cry right there in the restaurant. Later, my friend sends me the link to the SOS violence conjugale's questionnaire. It was so revealingI read the testimonials. I could have written at least half of them. That's what made me call them. Thank you. Thank you SOS violence conjugale, I was referred to gentle, empathetic, kind and so human.

He was constantly making negative comments about my appearance, my manners, my voice, my facial hair, etc. He claimed to want to help me "pass", whereas I thought I was just fine the way I was. He finally admitted that he was ashamed of me... as a trans woman, it destroyed me.

SOS violence conjugale changed my life. Thanks to their support, I was finally able to escape the hell I had been living in for too long. On the surface, my life seemed ideal: higher education, two wonderful children, a condo in a neighborhood I loved, a marriage, an exciting job... But behind this facade was a much darker reality. I was a prisoner of a toxic relationship. Over time, I had learned to smile despite the pain. Yet every evening, as I returned home, anxiety gripped my chest. Making the decision to leave was immense, overwhelming. A thousand questions swirled in my head: would I break my family by imposing a life of two households on my children? How would I face the judgment of others? How could I overcome financial challenges, rebuild my daily life, and find my footing again? But since that day, my life has only improved. To those of you living this reality: know that it’s difficult, but it’s probably the best decision you’ll ever make. You deserve a life where you are respected and loved for who you are. A life without fear, without suffering. It’s normal to feel vulnerable when talking to loved ones, but often, they are there, ready to listen, support, and help. SOS violence conjugale is a precious resource. They accompany you, guide you toward the right resources (shelters, organizations, psychological support...), and respect your pace. And above all, remember: getting informed does not mean committing. Making that call doesn’t obligate you to anything. Take the time you need. Be courageous. I believe in you. You deserve a life full of respect and happiness.

He forced me to prostitute myself. It happened gradually... he had debts, they became our debts... He convinced me to do it once... then twice... then every day or almost every day. I never thought it would ever happen to me.

I found out that he had put a tracking application on my cell phone to monitor my movements. When I stumbled upon the application by chance, and realized that he was monitoring me, I confronted him. He tried to make me believe that I had given my consent and that I didn't remember. I didn't believe him... but I almost did. How can you be sure in a situation like that????

I had been in a shelter for 5 days and when I came back my ex had given my little dog away, at least that's what he told me. I later learned from my son, who is now an adult, that this was not the real story. my ex forced my teenaged son to bring my dog in the car and after driving for a while, he ordered son to open the door and abandon my helpless little puppy on the side of the road ? When my son told me the story he was crying with guilt as he apologized . Obviously I reassured him that he had no choice but to obey his father and that he didn't have to live with guilt or regrets that it wasn't his fault.? Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

For years, whenever I talked about breaking up, he threatened to fight me for custody of our kids. I was so afraid that he would be alone with them for long periods of time. He was verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive to them as well. So, I chose to stay as long as I felt my children were too vulnerable... and even then, when I finally left (my children were then 15 and 17), he fought for years for custody, and it cost me a fortune in legal and expert fees. He kept taking me back to court. Eventually, it ended because my youngest turned 18. The «legal» violence after the separation was as difficult to live with, if not more so, than the violent situation itself. That being said... I am glad I did it because I needed to let my kids know to always fight to keep your head up, that is what I did and I am proud.

I had the courage to leave the day he strangled my dog. I stepped in and told him to leave or I would call the police. Even now my dog is still marked by this person.