Girls' night out. I finally talk about my former relationship. I understand - because of the looks of my friends - that what I'm saying is just not normal. It's unhealthy, it's horrible, they have tears in their eyes. I understand the magnitude of what I have been through. I start to cry right there in the restaurant. Later, my friend sends me the link to the SOS violence conjugale's questionnaire. It was so revealingI read the testimonials. I could have written at least half of them. That's what made me call them. Thank you. Thank you SOS violence conjugale, I was referred to gentle, empathetic, kind and so human.

He was constantly making negative comments about my appearance, my manners, my voice, my facial hair, etc. He claimed to want to help me "pass", whereas I thought I was just fine the way I was. He finally admitted that he was ashamed of me... as a trans woman, it destroyed me.

He forced me to prostitute myself. It happened gradually... he had debts, they became our debts... He convinced me to do it once... then twice... then every day or almost every day. I never thought it would ever happen to me.

I found out that he had put a tracking application on my cell phone to monitor my movements. When I stumbled upon the application by chance, and realized that he was monitoring me, I confronted him. He tried to make me believe that I had given my consent and that I didn't remember. I didn't believe him... but I almost did. How can you be sure in a situation like that????

I had been in a shelter for 5 days and when I came back my ex had given my little dog away, at least that's what he told me. I later learned from my son, who is now an adult, that this was not the real story. my ex forced my teenaged son to bring my dog in the car and after driving for a while, he ordered son to open the door and abandon my helpless little puppy on the side of the road ? When my son told me the story he was crying with guilt as he apologized . Obviously I reassured him that he had no choice but to obey his father and that he didn't have to live with guilt or regrets that it wasn't his fault.? Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

For years, whenever I talked about breaking up, he threatened to fight me for custody of our kids. I was so afraid that he would be alone with them for long periods of time. He was verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive to them as well. So, I chose to stay as long as I felt my children were too vulnerable... and even then, when I finally left (my children were then 15 and 17), he fought for years for custody, and it cost me a fortune in legal and expert fees. He kept taking me back to court. Eventually, it ended because my youngest turned 18. The «legal» violence after the separation was as difficult to live with, if not more so, than the violent situation itself. That being said... I am glad I did it because I needed to let my kids know to always fight to keep your head up, that is what I did and I am proud.

I had the courage to leave the day he strangled my dog. I stepped in and told him to leave or I would call the police. Even now my dog is still marked by this person.

While we were together, if I disciplined our child, he would intervene over me to say things like «don't listen to her, she doesn't know what she's talking about». After our separation, he would tell him about our fights and denigrate me to my son. As a result, it was my son himself who told the social worker and other professionals (including a judge) that I was unreliable and that I didn't know how to take care of him...

He started to make comments when I went shopping, telling me that I didn't "respect the budget", for as little as 10 dollars (and we could afford it), until finally telling me that I would not go shopping anymore and confiscating my credit card. In my exhaustion, I said to myself "very well, one less thing to deal with" a well-deserved break...no need to go shopping with three children yay....

I woke up in the middle of the night and he was... he had started «making love»... if you can call it love. It happened several times. He said that I had asked him «in my sleep»... I found out much later that it was rape.

I've never been physically abused... or even verbally abused. Everything was subtle... angry stares... sighs... silences... absences... infidelity... extreme tension as soon as I didn't «submit». It was heavy, so heavy. The children also felt it, I saw them «crushed» in front of their father... it broke my heart. It lasted 28 years. I had 3 «depressions» which I understand today as exhaustion in the face of all the heaviness I carried day after day. I sometimes hoped that he would hit me... at least then I would have been certain that it was violence.

It was winter, in the evening, I went out to put the garbage bags on the side of the street without putting on my coat. When I came back home, the door was locked.. I was really cold. Half an hour later I saw him in the second floor window with my 12-year-old son... he was laughing. I ended up digging in the snow to find the emergency key... I got severe frostbite on both hands. I never left the house again without my keys in my pockets after that. Years later, when he was an adult, my son told me how guilty, he felt for not standing up to his father that night. At 38, he was crying out in rage and fear.