After years of living in an abusive relationship, I just couldn't make decisions anymore. Everything was always so complicated with him, I had been so often surprised by his reactions that when I had to decide something, even something simple, it made me panic. My self-confidence in my judgment and my perceptions was at zero. After a colleague first told me about your services, it took years for me to decide to call because I was so... broken. Luckily, she understood me and, most importantly, she never pressured me.

We have been separated for 5 years, but I am still being told that I am an incompetent mother, that I have no ambition, that I am a lost cause. He blames me for the separation despite the fact that he denigrated me throughout the relationship.

We posted the SOS-INFOs on the bulletin board of the shelter. Several women read them and asked for copies. They find them clear and relevant because they recognize their experiences. -Intervener at the shelter for women victims of intimate partner violence.

I am constantly preoccupied with how he may react. I have to hide certain parts of my life from him so that I don't disappoint him (for example, if I smoke a cigarette with friends, even though I «officially» quit three years ago when he gave me an ultimatum). When I do something that he doesn't like, I am the worst person in the world, selfish, a liar, self-centered, etc.

He hit me in the stomach, really hard, when I was a few weeks pregnant. He said afterwards that it would be my fault if I lost the baby.

When I'm at work, my husband calls and texts me constantly. If I don't answer, he insists and texts repeatedly, every 3 seconds. It's difficult when I'm with clients, with colleagues or with my boss. I've already been reprimanded for this. It's really stressful for me.

He forged my signature many times, on contracts, personal loan applications, and to try to sell the house without my knowledge.

He constantly questioned my intelligence, my memory and my mental health: «I never said that! You're making up stories!» «Seriously, you should go to the doctor, you're not right in the head!» «Look how you're reacting!» «You're always mixing things up, you must be starting to get Alzheimer's...», «You don't even remember what you told me! You're so dumb!». Woman 54 years old "

Thanks to the «It's not violent» website, I was able to increase my student's awareness of the subtle violence found in intimate partner violence, which is often banalized and ignored. My students really liked a first workshop in class and I then organized thematic lunchtime meetings for the other four vignettes.

After acts of physical violence, he compared my emotions to his own to minimize them: «You were physically hurt, but I was psychologically wounded... I want to die». He acted like a fragile and destroyed child, who blamed himself to death. He was able to get me to reassure him, even though I was the one who had just suffered his blows. Woman 35 years old"

My daughter was experiencing a lot of emotional abuse from her partner. Every time I wanted to talk to her about it, she would shut me out or change the subject. It made me very angry because I could clearly see the hold he had on her. Plus, she wouldn't call me or if we talked, it would only last a few minutes. She rarely came to see me, and I missed her and my grandson. I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do anymore. I was so worried. I saw a poster about SOS violence conjugale at the CLSC and I took the chance to call them. I received support from the worker. She put me in contact with a counsellor, with whom I was able to talk about the situation and she helped me a lot.

I could never be right about anything, because my wife claimed to have a «photographic» memory of past events, and therefore a perfect vision of events.