Testimonials 90

While we were together, if I disciplined our child, he would intervene over me to say things like «don't listen to her, she doesn't know what she's talking about». After our separation, he would tell him about our fights and denigrate me to my son. As a result, it was my son himself who told the social worker and other professionals (including a judge) that I was unreliable and that I didn't know how to take care of him...
  • Woman
  • 40 years old
  • Violence by proxy, Post-separation violence
I woke up in the middle of the night and he was... he had started «making love»... if you can call it love. It happened several times. He said that I had asked him «in my sleep»... I found out much later that it was rape.
  • Woman
  • 23 years old
  • Sexual violence
I've never been physically abused... or even verbally abused. Everything was subtle... angry stares... sighs... silences... absences... infidelity... extreme tension as soon as I didn't «submit». It was heavy, so heavy. The children also felt it, I saw them «crushed» in front of their father... it broke my heart. It lasted 28 years. I had 3 «depressions» which I understand today as exhaustion in the face of all the heaviness I carried day after day. I sometimes hoped that he would hit me... at least then I would have been certain that it was violence.
  • Woman
  • 62 years old
  • Psychological violence, Emotional violence
He gave me a beautiful little puppy for our 3rd wedding anniversary: a little Australian shepherd whom I named Jack. Poor Jack... he became my double... instead of threatening me or hitting me, he hit Jack. I don't remember how many times he left with Jack telling me that he was going to get rid of him, or have him euthanized... then he would come back saying that he couldn't do it, that he wasn't going to «let me turn him into a monster»... (because of course it was always my fault). I wanted to go to a shelter but I didn't have a place to leave Jack safely, so I stayed.
  • Woman
  • 35 years old
  • Violence by proxy
Last year, I spent 3 months in a shelter. I had called SOS from my car one night I was out with the kids because the tension was too high in the house. I just couldn't take it anymore, I was going to crack. At first I was really stressed out, but the shelter workers were so nice. I slept for 3 days... that's when I realized I was exhausted. The more time went by, the more I saw the violence clearly, all the psychological violence I had endured on a daily basis and honestly, I was really surprised... and relieved because I had help. Now I have my home, with my children. It's not always easy because the legal proceedings are still underway, but my counsellor is there if I need to talk, and she accompanies me in my efforts. It helps me move forward.
  • Woman
  • 39 years old
  • Consequences of violence
I felt inadequate all the time, stressed out, worried about what he would think of what I was wearing, what I was saying, the way I was moving, the way I was breathing. I was always afraid because he would react abruptly or harshly towards me, over a host of tiny little details. I tried to think of everything but I could never succeed, there was always something. It was so stressful. I'd never been a particularly anxious person before, but I became a nervous wreck... and even that he blamed me for.
  • Woman
  • 39 years old
  • Psychological violence, Consequences of violence
We start making love and he asks me to do something he knows I don't want to do. When I refuse, he quickly gets upset, he shouts, he calls me a "bitch" and accuses me of cheating on him... Later, he puts blankets on the floor for me to sleep on... like a real bitch.
  • Woman
  • 19 years old
  • Psychological violence, Sexual violence
It was winter, in the evening, I went out to put the garbage bags on the side of the street without putting on my coat. When I came back home, the door was locked.. I was really cold. Half an hour later I saw him in the second floor window with my 12-year-old son... he was laughing. I ended up digging in the snow to find the emergency key... I got severe frostbite on both hands. I never left the house again without my keys in my pockets after that. Years later, when he was an adult, my son told me how guilty, he felt for not standing up to his father that night. At 38, he was crying out in rage and fear.
  • Woman
  • 71 years old
  • Indirect physical violence, Consequences of violence
I had the impression that my husband had a huge «bubble» , that took up all the available space, and I was stuck underneath, with almost no room to move. And when I moved too much... it «burst» his bubble and I paid the price...
  • Woman
  • 56 years old
  • Psychological violence
The few times we went to the restaurant together, he would barely look at me during the whole meal. He ate in silence with a scornful facial expression. I was just an accessory in front of him. Sometimes he would even sit diagonally opposite me when there were two of us at a table for four.
  • Woman
  • 29 years old
  • Psychological violence
He manipulated me repeatedly in such a skillful way. One minute he told me I was the woman of his life and the next he was insulting and degrading me. He took out his rage on me and took pleasure in seeing me suffer psychologically.
  • Woman
  • 29 years old
  • Psychological violence
When he was angry with me in the car, he started driving fast and hard. He hit the steering wheel, he kicked the gas pedal... it was terrifying. I was always afraid that he would eventually lose control of the car and cause us to have an accident. When the kids were in the car with us, it was even worse for me... I still have nightmares about it.
  • Woman
  • 67 years old
  • Emotional violence, Indirect physical violence
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